Sunday, August 9, 2009

Poems from 2008

It's Over

It's over

After 2 years of love




It ended

The torture your soul has endured may now end

I take the demons I brought into your life

And you will have clear thoughts

Or go back to old ways

That you threw in the fire of understanding wrong

Because we are creatures of habit

The next few months are going to be hard

If I see your light from the corner of my eye

I may turn and want you

to hold me

But we can't

Is It Allowed?

I'm mad at you
But is it allowed?
Will it make you run
Even further than you are now
Or will you finally let go
And be you again

I'm crying for you
But is it allowed?
You seem not to want anything
From me, from anyone
Other than the abusers
Who are responsible for where you are

Call me
Or is it not allowed?
You may be wrapped around
Some other finger
Telling you how high to jump
And where to land

We Must

Sometimes we weep
Whether we were right or wrong
Sometimes we laugh
Even when it's wrong

Then there are the occasions
That slap us in the face
Make us eat shit
Put us in our place

We must keep moving
Whether fowards or back
Little of the future
Is up for attack

We can't live on memories alone
But must take nourishment
From everything, even those that leave us stone

And walk past evil and dread
So we can grow into humans
Living, not dead

I Left

I left
I let the door close
And heard you turn the lock
I hauled my belongings away
No turning back

But now
I drive around
Trying to remember
Why I did the leaving
And see anothers shadow
Where mine once strolled

Yet I avoid you general vacinity
If I see you I'll beg
Like you did the night
I left

Rain Storms

The rain is falling
And my mind is racing
Words sound like the puddles forming
Under my window
I try to concentrate
But the lightening only illuminates
And revelations boom
Then the gentle whisper
Of thousands of thoughts
I can't make out the individuals
Only the steady hum
And the revelations echo
A common sentiment
Cleansing, renewal
As the power cuts on and off
I wait for the thoughts
To pronounce themselves
As the hail hits the roof

You Are Not Esthero Bitch

If you're in tha mood
I got my dukes up
Ready for a revolution
And I may not have hip-hop in my veins
Or legs that go on for miles
But I have dignity and pride
And don't have to resort
To whispering sweet evils in his ear
But you have caused my greatest fear
And I've told him to go, get away
So he can be a better man
Than either of us could let him be
Your wicked ways
My naive backwoods world
And him stuck between
A bitch and a slave
I sing melancoly melodies now
Because your succubus words
Stained what was left of his love
And you did it
Because he wouldn't have you
He wanted me
Hopefully, he has enough sense
To see your bullshit through
And tell you to take a long walk
Off that short plank
Into the abyss that you came from

To Where?

Somewhere in the back of my mind
I feel the claws of desperation
Scratching my good intentions
And marring my judgment
Scaring my delicate psyche
Till I want to curl in a ball
And sleep away eternity

Yet, I can not
Will not
Curl up and die
I want to be happy
Simple, pure

Where has it all gone
Has it always been so illusive
So far off and small
Or is it the mind chemistry cemetery
Where it has gone off to die
Then be reborn with hyper
Bouncing and jumping
Fighting and singing

Then from the far reaches
Of some inner space
That hasn't been seen in over a decade
A light shines
Ever so dully

Enough to make one uncurl
And look up
To raise your head
And look around
See what you've been lying in

7 Days

Day 1, I knew this was going to be tough

With you asking, pleading for me to stay

I knew things would not be the same

Yet I decided to go with my gut

I cried there in your living room

Knowing this was the end

Day 2 seemed to come and go

Other than the single text

Asking me why I was telling everyone

I was not at the bar

A simple joke gone wrong

Like two years of our lives

Day 3 I moped at the bar

Saw your best friend

Who used to be mine

And tried to stay clear

Of any drama there

Day 4 I tried to have a good time

Out with friends, family

Cut my hair in rebellion to you

And as hard as I tried

My thoughts circled back

Day 5 was a blur

Sleep and work

Consuming my every waking moment

So that I could not think

Could not ponder

All these things

Day 6 was more the same

My work suffers

At the hand of this fate

And I wonder

Why my phone does not ring

Why there are so few calls

So few attempts

For me

Day 7


Why do I miss you so

Why have I only cried that one time

When you pleaded

And I knew

I could not keep on

Yet here I am stuck wishing for a call

A text

Something to make me whole

And now

A lonely tear falls

As I drift to a far off sleep

Where I yell

"Don't stay"

To the crying sheep

Hmmm (Our What If?)

We never met
Nor will we ever
But you brought out the best
In everyone who never
Saw you, met you
Who never will
Who will always be a myth
And always a "What If?"

Lima Beans

When lima beans fail
The nurshiment lacks
But all who loved them
Know it's for the best
One day
The lima beans will come in strong
And will heal us
From the seasons of loss
And the time of none
Will be only a myth
Slowly forgotten
Like Roma

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