Monday, May 24, 2010

I'm a Wreck

You know, I do have no idea why I am such an emotional wreck, but I am.  I mean, there are the little things that most newly weds irritate them.. the way he comes home and pulls his socks off in a ball and they're all stiff and stinky... or the way his stuff is all over the place instead of in a nice pile in one spot... or when I am cooking and there is food boiling and I'm standing right over it to keep it from sticking or boiling over and he asks "bring me a beer"... yeah, it irritates me a bit, but not to the point of crying.  I really have no clue why I'm so upset.  I called B down to the basement to grab some towels and to nicely ask him to stop asking me to do stuff, like grab him a beer, while I'm in the middle of doing something more important like cook or clean.  I also wanted to apologize for my "attitude" I have had since I woke up.  That should have lasted all of a minute, but it ended up lasting 10-15 minutes because he wouldn't just let me be down there.  He wanted to know what in the world was wrong.  I don't know... It's a combination of things I guess.  I don't have a routine.  I don't have any friends here really (well I have one but she leaves in a couple days).  I don't have a job other than this whole housewife thing.  I have a husband who is leaving in a couple of months for a year.  I have tons of doctors appointments to go to when I'm not doing other things.

I guess I'm more messed up about the combo of no routine and the doctor crap... I don't know...

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

I Should Stay Caught Up on Blogs: Response to a blog from 3/25

I used to have this best friend who I alienated the first time I ever met them. 17 years later, I alienated them again by not realizing what I did wrong and therefore not saying I'm sorry. I too can't think back to the last 17 years without having a memory of them. I have people ask me all the time about them. The only thing I can say to those who ask is "I don't know, we don't talk anymore" and the person asking then has to ask 50 questions about why we aren't talking and all this other drama. I always say to those "well I'm not entirely sure at this point. I didn't understand even then, but even if I did know exactly why, I wouldn't say, it's none of your business." Yeah, I, Christina Wilks, have learned discretion! I know, it's a miracle! But back to what I was saying... I wish I could see them right now. Actually I think of them more than my new BFF... Well Lauren isn't that new of a BFF, but when you knew your "old" BFF for as long as I did, Lauren is a "new" BFF lol... I'm 700+ miles from everyone I know, trying to make new friends and it makes me think back to high school, etc... Well being married to one of my best friends from high school makes me really think about them. Why my hubby has to ask about them is beyond me. He remembers her, but not my other BFF in high school Crystal Johnson. Ah, high school memories... I remember all the sleep overs, and getting busted drunk by my mom coming back to their place the night before church camp lol... Oh good times were had! Or how about the sad times we shared? We worked through our grief together when tragedy hit way to close to home... We were each others' rock in tough times and, as per my craziness, she was my pillow lol.

Man, I miss you girl... "Bad Ass Senioritas" till we die ;)