Monday, March 7, 2011

Marriage and Other Such Things

So, I read this article on about some "religious" websites they found humorous or just hard on the eyes.  I ended up looking at all of them.  The first site was one that the concept was awesome, the concept of the woman warrior for God, but the execution of the concept failed, and miserably.  The other site that I've spent much of my evening on was this Hell Fire and Brimstone site that is one step below the insanity that is Westboro "Baptist Church".  (I put that in quotes because I do not think that Westboro is Christian or a reflection of the Baptist movement at all).  Most of this second site has me cracking up because of its insistence on everything being evil, but the part that gets me really going is their "women's page".  (You can see for yourself here).  Most of this is how feminism is evil and it's ruining women, but there was one article that I actually agreed with and I will address it now.  The article was on marriage and the relationship between a woman and her husband on a Christian level.  However, this wasn't one of those brow beating articles, no, this woman wrote about how as a wife, our relationship with our husband should be our number one human relationship.

How the article was written, I took it that most people aren't best friends with their husbands.  I knew a long ago that I could only marry my best friend, and put off marrying mine for quite some time.  I think we're better for it in the end.  My putting off marriage to B was good for us.  I got my party out, learned to appreciate the friend I have in B, and learned conflict resolution skills within a relationship before we were together.  In addition, B was able to show me just how much he truly cares for me and is dedicated to me.  Obviously, I'm going to take religion out of this topic at this point.  I personally have "eccentric" beliefs that the site admin for the original site I was on would consider Satanic, and my husband is agnostic.  My husband actually likes the fact that I can think for myself when it comes to spirituality and that I have really never been one to push my beliefs on others and I won't now.  However, I will push my feelings on marriage on everyone.  The author of the article I've been talking about made a very good point that we should be best friends with our husbands.  How she said it though, you would think that most people don't do this.  If this is the case though it is no wonder that divorce is so rampant, in both the Christian and other communities!  A foundation of friendship between spouses is what is going to secure your relationship long into old age.  Being physically attracted to your spouse is great, but when gravity starts taking its toll on the body and your body starts to fail you, if you have a relationship based in friendship you will still have a relationship.  However, if you do not have that friendship, you're going to run out of things you have in common when sex is just not an option.

Another point the author made was that wives should put their husbands above their children.  I completely agree with this.  No, I do not have kids of my own yet.  However, I find that one of the problems many married couples have is that they put their children above their relationship.  This is a problem.  When you neglect your relationship with your spouse due to children, you are wearing away at that foundation when the children are gone.  However, it is a balancing act!  As I told my mom earlier, I think that as a couple parents should put their children first, however as individuals they should put each other first.  I know this sounds contradictory, but it's not.  As a couple, you are one.  However, you are both individuals.  As an individual, you should put your spouse first.  When you address your children, you should do so as a couple and they should come first to a point.  If your children's activities are taking away from family time and couple time (say your kids are in so many activities that all you do as a family is go from one activity to another), then your priorities as a couple and family are off.  You can disagree with me if you like, I don't care.

Ok, I think I've rambled on enough.  At least I know my spelling is correct

Friday, March 4, 2011

I'm going to complain

As much as I whine, I really don't complain.  Right now, I want to complain.  Why is it that everyone wants you to come over to their place but they'll never come hang out with you?  I'm not talking about anyone in particular. I'm just venting.  I'm lonely and bored, despite having tons to do around the house.  I was looking forward to going out tonight, but the plans got changed.  I'm not upset about that, not at all actually, I'm upset that every fuckin time I ask anyone to come over and just visit, no one ever does.  Now, if others want me to come visit do I?  Usually I do unless I'm sick or I'm tired of hanging out with that person because they've been annoying me.  Anywho!  I just don't get why I have to beg for people to hang out with me and then no one will anyways.  People say that they like me and that I'm one of the best friends they've ever had and yet I can't get people to hang out with me at my house.  I'm so proud of myself for having this wonderful place, keepin it up, and NOT living with my parents.  I'm not sure why people don't want to come to my house, but it does bug me.  And yes, I'm cryin over here.  I don't need people feeling sorry for me, but damn.