Shootin Stars

I can't sleep

Once again

Insomnia

Homework

Stress

Whatever the reason

I step out

Barefoot

Dew on the ground

I stand in the yard

Staring at the sky

Curled in my jacket

The wind is cool

But not actually cold

I just like how the fleece

Feels wrapped around me

And I locate stars I know

But the city lights

Even at 4 am

Have overwhelmed

All but the brightest

Venus

Mercury

Orion

The Moon

And along the Belt's arc

A thin line of brillance

Archs

Orange

White in the center

And as soon as it showed

It fades into the lights

A shooting star

The second in so many weeks

And I make my same wish

One that I know will come true

I wish for this

So instead of a dream

It becomes fact

How many more shootin stars

Will I see

Before it becomes reality?

Enough to ensure

Dreams become reality

When I'm Alone

Ready for these daydreams
To become reality
And start the grand adventure
I've only dreamed

I can't believe
This is real
That someone would
Stick by me

Yet it's true
And a bit surreal
But I wouldn't have
It any other way

When you're near
It's heaven
And when we're apart
I look to the stars

The one constant
Over us both
Over the years
The stars

The moon smiles
And the stars blink
And they do the same
Over both of us as we sleep

When I'm feeling lonely
And need reassurance
I just go outside
And look above

I know that Orion
Is in about the same spot
Over your head
As he's over mine

And Venus hangs out
With the Moon and Mars
Whether over me
Or over you

So even when
We can not talk
And there is a mandatory silence
We've got the stars & moon

Circles (Past, Present, Future) [Revision of previous poem]

I find this circle
We are in
Beautiful

10 years ago
Things were much different
We were younger
Dumber
Blind

Then I did what I did
And it couldn't be undone
But I don't think I would
Even if I could
The experience
Was worth the tragedy
That shaped my adult life
In so many ways

Yet I knew it was just part
Of this long journey
That loops around itself
Never completing a true circle
But almost
Like the retrograde activities
Of Venus and Mars
Even including that great elliptical
Trip around the sun

I haven't told
But three souls
That I feel
This intense
This truly
For you

Not for a lose so long ago
Not for the him
The one who caused me
To break your heart in two
And made me happier
Than anyone
Except you

I don't expect
You to believe me
But you can accept
The words that I say

This beautiful circle
That's spun around
Like the Maya calendar
One ending
Is another beginning
And here we are
10 years later

I really can't expect
You to truly believe
That I love you
But I do
And I have
And I will

See and that was so long ago
Things happen
Tragic events that wound
But wounds heal

Time moves on
Washing away
The pains
And even some memories
Looping back around again
Close to the original spot
But not quite

Five years ago
The orbits didn't line up
The circle wasn't quite right
And here we are
A third time
I'm calling it
Our 2012

Past, Present, Future

I haven't told
But 3 souls
That I feel
This intense
About you
And not him

Yes...

HIM

The one that caused me
To break your heart in two
Yet made me happier
Than anyone
But you

I don't expect
You to believe me
That you can accept
The words that I say

I can't expect
For you to even believe
That I love you
At all

But I do
And I have
And I will

The truth
Can you see?
It's not so cut and dry
Yes
I had happiness there
But we're in the now

Now...
The present
The future
Not the past!

Simply put
We are in the now
We are meant to be
More than I can say
For ANYONE else
Not HIM
Not tools of time
But now and forever

A Small Rant Continued

So many of you saw the response I got for my blog titled "A Small Rant." Well homegirl emailed me this morning, after posting an insane amount of comments on my link to this blog and then posting 31+ status updates, which I later noticed were exactly what she posted on my link comments. I'm not going to include what she said, cuz it pretty much was a continuation of all that she posted last night. I emailed her back and the following is my response back:

I did look at your posts. I'm no where near ashamed of my faith, I'm a warrior for Christ. My job is to go out and kick evils butt, not preach. God gives us each gifts and expects us to use them. My being a warrior gives me a unique oppertunity to reach people without shoving my faith down their throats. What you have posted has possibly turned more people away from Christ than brought to him. Then who is worse, the one scaring off more than they bring to God or the one who allows God to bring people across their path to reach out to?

Don't get me wrong, we are to bring people to Christ, I'm aware of the great commision, but we do so within our gifts.

This is the last I'm saying on the issue as I have more important things to do than debate religion with you on the Internet. Don't take that the wrong way, I just don't see the point of this other than you wanting to be right. You are mistaken on many points in your posts, but I won't go into that as I don't have time. I've got work and school.

Tale care

Christina

Jumping Conclusions

I'm at war with my mind

Trying to convince it

That nothing is wrong

Though all it does

Is jump from

Boiling vat to boiling vat

Of ill conceived conclusions

Based only on tidbits

That have seeped

Into the crevasses of my mind

And began to grow

Into weeds

Spurring

Negativity

Either your way

Or mine

Not allowing the peace of mind

That should be there

Silence makes them grow more

The not knowing

Is like rain and light to them

And so the conclusions

Jump

From boiling vat to boiling vat

Spreading unease

As they dribble onto the floor of my mind

I'm trying to ignore it

There is no need to pay attention

I know that everything

Will be ok

But I see those drops on the floor

I must clean it up

And then see the tidbits of doubts

And self loathing

Jumping between the vats

Make them stop!

A Small Rant

I want to preface this blog with the fact that I am, by the definition of the term, a Christian. I, however, am not a "Bible thumper" or one to push my beliefs done other people's throats. I may on occasion speak of spiritual things, but I do my best to keep the religious aspect out of what I'm saying as what I'm trying to say could be applied to almost any religion.

That being said, I am sick and tired of all the posts I have to see on Facebook and on Twitter about how "God is good" and "save your soul" stuff. I am sure that many of these are people's way of comforting themselves, but there are better ways to do this than quoting lengthy Bible verses and preaching at your friends. God wants us to reach out to those around us, but I don't think He wants us to shove Him down everyone's throats 24 hours a day! I think that Bible verses should be saved for those who call into question beliefs and principles of our faith. We should save them for personal conversations where we are addressing a particular individual's circumstances. God provides for us what to say in those situations. If you read a post of mine that seems some what spiritual, it's because I can sense that someone needs to hear such things, but I'm not going to proselytise to everyone on my friends/followers lists.

I love that I have so many friends and followers online, but I would never make them feel uncomfortable on purpose. I know that I do go on my ghost/spirit activity but, like I said, I try to be as general as possible since that spiritual activity happens no matter what your religious beliefs are, most religions believe in spirits/ghosts.

So that's my rant. Hope I didn't offend anyone.