Monday, August 9, 2010

Day 8

Standing on the patio watching the aftermath of the storms, all I could thing of is our good times.  Those thoughts have always sustained me.  Even when I was with someone else and all B was was my friend, the thought that someone out there truly cared about me kept me going through the worse times with CR.  I actually had a dream about CR last night.  In it B watched everything that transpired.  Can we say "awkward"?

Anywho!  But even when I was with CR, when things were their worse, I was reassured knowing that there was a man out there who really did love me, even after everything I put him through over the years.  That's not to say that in all the trials B & I have faced over the years, I'm the only guilty party in the outcome, no, there are only 2 incidents and one, he is pretty much responsible for what happened, even though it was me who made a mistake... What I'm trying to say is, that even with the silence from B, I know that he is thinking of me and wishing I was in his arms when he's asleep and handing him his meal when he eats.  Yeah, food reference lol.  I do love being in the kitchen, unless it's to do the dishes.

I love my baby, and wish he were here.  However, I know he can't be here.  I really am glad I know where he's at.  In 2004, no one knew where he was and little did we know he almost died.  I'm so glad now that no news really is good news.  Then, it wasn't good news.  It's amazing what one finds comfort in in times like these.

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