Wednesday, January 13, 2010

From my MySpace Blog

I've been sooooooo busy. Between graduating college, getting married, and now packing for the big move some time soon, I haven't been writing as much. Plus, many of my poems are just rehashes of the same happy sentiments over and over again, no problem with that though :)

I will be posting a list of things for sale in a bulletin soon. I'm not sure if anyone will want any of it, but who knows. I'm going to miss all my Texas friends and family, but I cannot wait to start married life. I feel so lucky to have my honey and after reading through so many journals, poems, random writings, and bits of paper that I've had packed away from over the years, my honey has been that rock over the years. Some of what I've read has upset me, brought back old pains, but has shown me how much I've grown over the years. Some of you have personally seen this growth, others just know me as I am now. I have not always been the rock that many of you see today, especially after some of the things I've read. There were so many entries of how depressed I was or who I was dating at the time or who I was allowing to use me as a doormat. The fact that I made it through all the abuses, the assaults, the drunken stupidity in one piece is a testament to the fact that I am a strong person and have learned from my mistakes, trails, and experiences. I think the most difficult entries to read were those from the 2001. What I went through then can only be compared to the darkest moments of my childhood. I don't remember most of that and I count myself blessed that I don't.

Why then do I keep the old journals? My plan is to use those later as a way to, as accurately as possible, compile my autobiography in hopes of reaching out to young women, and even men, who have gone through some of the same things. I will continue to live by my policy that bad experiences are no excuse for bad behavior.

I love my sweetie, and I miss him something awful. Be safe out there and if you're Arlington side, you need to see me before I leave state.

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