I normally do not have issue with helping people out. However, when I'm down to using my change because I have no funds in the bank and thus down to my last few dollars of change, I can't afford to help anyone. I can barely afford to feed myself! So when my brother-in-law's grandmother passed away, they had to go out of town and needed someone to dog-sit. After the last time I dog sat, with no real expectation of compensation but hoping that they would since that is the normal and nice and generous thing to do, I told my sister I would not do anything for them for free again. My sister called me up this weekend and said they were going to have to go out of town soon, not sure when, but someone would need to watch Shamus and possibly my niece. Well Monday night she called me and said that the grandmother had passed and that they would be leaving Tuesday that I needed to come by and get the key. Mind you my sister lives about 10 minutes south of my boyfriend but pretty much across town from my mom, who I live with. So when my sister calls me I tell her I'll have to get the key after class and she invites me to have a beer with them. I deny the beer as I had plans with my boyfriend that evening. She then told me I would not be doing this for free (again reinstating what she said when she first called me). Well, I drive out of my way to get the key, then go see my bf. Then I have to use more gas cuz her apartment is further from UTA and my job (which is just 5 minutes from UTA) so I have to put more gas in my car than I normally would. I informed my sister of this situation and that I would have to stay at her place while they were away to save gas and insure that the dog got walked the appropriate amount of times a day. She was fine with this. My staying there does not constitute paying me. It was so that I didn't have to use anymore gas than was necessary. I don't mind watching Shamus, he's a good dog and fun to be around, but I just can't afford gas, food, drink, and smokes and look after him, even w/ staying at her house.
Well my sister, brother-in-law, and niece came back this evening, insisting on my meeting with them to give them the key as soon as they got in. Well the problem with that was they didn't know exactly when they were going to get to the apartment and if I went to my boyfriend's I wouldn't leave there till near 11. So I had to change my plans so I could give them their key (which is understandable to an extent). I get there and they do not arrive for at least another hour if not longer, well it was almost 10 when they got in and I didn't bring up money. I listened to their tales of their trip and talked with them. Finally around 11 I pointed out, trying to be discreet about it, that I only had $2.05 to make it til Monday and there was a good chance that I would need gas again before the weekend was up. I'm not going to come out and demand payment. Well needless to say my sister's eventual response was "I'll check my bank account tomorrow and see if I can help you out." Help me out! You said you were going to pay me for this!
When I ask someone to help me out I give them something as a thank you. Whether it's helping me clean my room and thus giving them things of mine that they fancied or giving them cash, I compensate them and thank them for their time. I do not ask to do the same when I help them out, however I have this naive notion that people show their thanks, either in doing something for you in return or through some means of payment (putting gas in your car for giving them a lift, buying you dinner after you helped them with some project, compensating your gas when you drive out of your way to help them, etc). I don't expect people to do like I do, but I hope they will since it's thing called "common courtesy!" However, if the individual says "I'll pay you" that means that should do just that once my services have been rendered. However, if you don't pay me like you say and then tell me you will see if you can "help me out" you are a liar and should never expect me to help you ever again.
Seriously sis, never ask me to help you again! You said you were going to give me some cash, I haven't been stressing about money because I knew you were going to give me money. $10 would be just enough to get me through Monday. $10 doesn't even get 4 gallons of gas so it's not really alot. I know you have a family to take care of, but don't brag that you have $100 left over from your trip then tell me you will have to check to see if you can "help me out." I helped YOU out and you said you would pay me! I wouldn't be this upset if you wouldn't have said you would pay me, I'd be upset, but not raging mad where I want to cry and/or beat your face. I think that if someone helps you out you compensate them in some way, either monetarily or through some food, gas, etc that will benefit them the way you benefited from them.
Ok, I can feel I'm fixing to go off topic. Good night all!
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2 comments:
Ouch. That doesn't sound like a fun situation to be in. I've learned that you should never mix family and money because things never turn out good!
That being said, maybe your sister's husband doesn't want her to spend the money? Did they BOTH offer to pay you for your helping them out or did your sister just offer without telling her husband?
I think you should speak to your sister and see if y'all can work this out!
Since whenever she calls me her husband is right beside her, he knew she said it and had an opportunity to refute what she said if he saw fit. In addition, if they decided to not give me something for my troubles, as their apartment is further from UTA and my job than my mom's home, they should have told me prior to my watching the dog, even if it was the night before when I got their key, that they would not be giving me anything. This would have changed how I budgeted my $8 in change for food and drinks for the next few days while they were away. However nothing was said to the contrary and she reinstated it Wednesday. I'm just sick of her taking advantage of myself and my parents (in regards to Alexia).
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