Monday, May 24, 2010

I'm a Wreck

You know, I do have no idea why I am such an emotional wreck, but I am.  I mean, there are the little things that most newly weds irritate them.. the way he comes home and pulls his socks off in a ball and they're all stiff and stinky... or the way his stuff is all over the place instead of in a nice pile in one spot... or when I am cooking and there is food boiling and I'm standing right over it to keep it from sticking or boiling over and he asks "bring me a beer"... yeah, it irritates me a bit, but not to the point of crying.  I really have no clue why I'm so upset.  I called B down to the basement to grab some towels and to nicely ask him to stop asking me to do stuff, like grab him a beer, while I'm in the middle of doing something more important like cook or clean.  I also wanted to apologize for my "attitude" I have had since I woke up.  That should have lasted all of a minute, but it ended up lasting 10-15 minutes because he wouldn't just let me be down there.  He wanted to know what in the world was wrong.  I don't know... It's a combination of things I guess.  I don't have a routine.  I don't have any friends here really (well I have one but she leaves in a couple days).  I don't have a job other than this whole housewife thing.  I have a husband who is leaving in a couple of months for a year.  I have tons of doctors appointments to go to when I'm not doing other things.

I guess I'm more messed up about the combo of no routine and the doctor crap... I don't know...


The Ashes said...

I can see why that would definitely be rough.
Have you considered picking up a part time job? It would help you meet people and make some new friends and give you something to

PitChiK said...

I'm waiting until B leaves to get one. I want to be able to spend time with him now and get my house in order, but it's at a price obviously. Hopefully, going to the show Monday and this trip have helped settle my mind some. Seeing my BFF helped and I'm going to force myself to get out and get around people. I joined up on and have a couple of groups on Facebook of people to meet up with. I just have to get out of this bubble I guess that I've put myself in. All of the new stuff is a bit much and I wanna stay inside but I'm used to being out and about and being social. I have to force myself to explore.