Showing posts with label health issues. Show all posts
Showing posts with label health issues. Show all posts

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Sable

I would have posted this sooner, but Sable's passing came so close to my trip to Texas for the Christmas holiday that I just couldn't get to it.  I thought I would share Sable's last days with you.  Sable went in for surgery and they found the mass was her spleen and she had a fatty liver.  Biopsy came back while I was in Texas that she had lymphoma and with her passing, I think it was for the best.

The first night was easy enough, she curled up in my summer clothes, staining a white shirt, but was comfortable and slept peacefully the entire night.  The next day she seemed a bit groggy, but who wouldn't after having major surgery.  I made her eat and drink and she took her medicine.  She curled up with me on the floor.  However by day 3 she was very slow and extremely groggy.  I took her in to the vet and they gave her fluids and told me to skip her pain meds.  It really seemed that was it.  She was only a pound and that means it's really hard to determine exactly how quickly her body would metabolize pain medication.  That night though, I knew it was the end.  She would only lay and hardly moved.  When she did her "business" right where she was sleeping, I knew that she would not make it through the night.  I held her and told her that she had to make it.  Daddy wanted to see her and he would be home in a couple weeks.  She just had to make it.  I was crying and she kissed my cheek.  She gave me this look, such a sweet look, that said to me "mommy, I tried, but this battle is just too much.  Tell daddy I love him and I'm sorry that I couldn't be there when he came home.  I wanted to smell his feet and steal his socks."  She laid back down, after taking water and food by syringe, and went to sleep.  She slept peacefully and passed in her sleep.  That morning was one of the toughest mornings I've had in a long time.  She's now got a nice grave and in our hearts as the sweet, loving ferret she was.  She really was my sweet girl.  Polar Bear is now a lonely boy but we're making the best of it. He's slowly getting used to me loving on him like I would Sable, but he still won't sit on my shoulders.  Sable loved hanging out up there.  RIP lil one, we all will miss you.

I would like to thank all of those who helped with the extra expense of her vet bills.  You're help was amazing and I was able to cover her expenses thanks to you!  Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Sable and the boot 

Sable's grave site


Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Just an Update

Well, I'm pretty much settled here in Colorado.  For the most part I'm loving it.  There are things I miss about Texas, like my nieces and nephew.  I miss my friends, but I don't miss most of it, like the drama.  I've got my first of what will end up being many doctor appointments.  I'd normally not go and just tough it out, but I've promised many people that I'd go.  I know that I need to have the ol' brain examined.

Things are good between B and I for the most part.  I think most of any issues we may have stem mostly from my guilt over what happened 10 years ago.  I've really got to forgive myself and move on.  You add in that I'm so far from all I know and am not used to change.  This makes for a sometimes moody Christina.  I cried for the first time today.  I miss the kids more than anything.  I'm scared.  Between my health issues that aren't straight up in the forefront (which makes them easy to forget about at times) and the impending deployment, I'm at a bit of a loss.  I'm used to predictability.  I go by statistics, yet here the statistics aren't proven or solid.  There are too many variables that can affect the outcome of any of it.

I'm making some friends and that's good.  I don't know where everything is here yet though.  I'm also used to being treated like pure shit by men and so I've got my own ways of trying to sabotage a perfectly good thing with words.  Gotta love when you do that...  Man, I swear, I over think things and I make them sound way worse than they really are.  I know one thing I will NOT be saying to the doctor tomorrow, and that is about all my emotional issues.  If they get that info from my medical records at UTA, so be it, but I'm not volunteering that info.  They don't need to know what I used to deal with emotionally since that has no relevance or bearing on what is going on now.  I do know that I do get kinda upset thinking about my own time in the Army being around all these soldiers though.  That is complicated and this blog is not the place for that story.  I'm just glad that I have a couple of outlets for any of my military frustrations, especially at Army Spouse Life.  I still can't talk openly about my frustrations with my own military time.  I just deal with that in my own mind.

I'm just glad that I have B.  You know, even though we've had a couple of weird incidents (one is completely on B, the other completely on me), we're doing well.  I mean, we can sit on the couch and just watch tv and look at each other and it makes things better.  He had a bad day today and yet, looking at me put a smile on his face.  I was just in a mood though today.

Well, I'll definitely be posting what the doctor says and periodic posts on what is going on with that.  I know you guys will be there for me.